Unsure
by Dark Kitti
Summary: Sato finally asks Dai out. but will Daisuke's slightly homophobic tendencies ruin an otherwise perfect relationship?
1. Satoshi's Proposal

I was headed home when Satoshi caught up with me. This made me happy, considering I had a crush on the guy. But no. I couldn't have a crush on Satoshi. It just wasn't proper for a man to like another man.

"Daisuke! I need to ask you something!" Satoshi exclaimed, rather out of breath as he caught up with me.

"What's up, Hiwatari-kun?" I grinned at the boy. He was handsome, with sweat glistening of his face, he looked like a god. But I really must stop having these thoughts about Satoshi. They weren't right for me to be having.

"I have... a kind of request." Satoshi looked nervous. I wanted to turn that nervous frown into a happy smile. I would promise him the world just to see him grin at me. But that was a bad thought, too. why cant I control this?

"Sure. Anything." I smiled. And there was the line that went with my horrible thoughts. This situation was deteriorating the longer Satoshi and I spoke.

"Well, Daisuke, to put it bluntly, I like you. I like you a lot." Satoshi said.

My heart skipped a beat. Satoshi liked me? This was better than my wildest dreams! But no, this was bad. Men just don't like other men. Didn't Satoshi know this? But apparently he didn't because he was tempting me with this statement.

"And Daisuke, I was wondering if you'd date me?" Satoshi looked at me with that handsome face, and I wanted to scream 'Yes, yes, and always yes!' But i didn't. i remained silent, staring at the gorgeous boy in front of me.

When I didnt say anything, Satoshi got discouraged. "You know what, Daisuke? We can just be friends, forget I said anything, okay?"

I jumped slightly as he began walking away. Despite everything I had been thinking, I didnt want to forget Satoshi's words. They had meant a lot to me, or at least to the very small part of me who wasnt scared of the idea.

"Hiwatari-kun!" I squeaked.

He turned around. His face was hopeful, and i so wanted to make his day, but I knew I couldnt. I couldnt make him happy.

"Daisuke? I'm sorry, I know I was very forward, but I dont know another way to say this to you." Satoshi gave me a slight, yet fake smile.

I frowned. Why were his smiles always fake? It bothered me. What was so awful in his like that he could smile for real at me? Wait. WHY am I worried about this now? This was not the major issue at hand.

"Hiwatari-kun. This is a big shock to me. Could you give me a couple of days to think this over?" I smiled. that's what i needed to get this notion out of my head. Time.

:-P

It's been days, and i have yet to reach a decision. I dont really know what I want. On one hand, I like Satoshi a lot. On the other hand IT'S TOTALLY AGAINST MY MORALS! To make matters worse, Satoshi keeps looking at me. And when I catch him staring, he gives me a little smile. Always a fake smile, one that doesnt reach is eyes unfortunately. Maybe if I agree to go out with him, he'll smile at me for real. I want to see his eyes light up when he sees me. Not always a blank expression.

"Daisuke!" Ah, the object of my desires. But no, I musnt call him that. He was Hiwatari-kun and over all male.

"Hello Hiwatari -kun." I smiled.

"I dont meant to pressure you, but have you made up your mind yet?" Satoshi looked sincere.

"Well... I... you see... I just can never see us going out." Seeing his crestfallen face, i qiuckly amended "It's got nothing to do with you. It's just... well, we're both guys."

Satoshi made a small, strangled, laugh-like noise. "You're a homo-phobe?"

"No!" I exclaimed. Or was I?

"Or maybe you're just really, extremely straight." Satoshi gave me a pinched smile.

"No, Hiwatari-kun. I like you. I do!" I cried.

"Then make up your mind. I've been running in circles here, and all I want is for you to say yes!"

I hesitated...


	2. Daisuke's Decision

I hesitated...

But before I could thing my mouth blurted, "yes!" And immediately I wanted to object, but the look on Satoshi's face was priceless. The look of utter amazement and happiness... It was enough to drive me into silence.

"Daisuke you have no idea..." Satoshi drifted off as he hugged me. I had never felt so... i guess the word for the feeling would be warm. Maybe it was also loved. This simple hug was all it took to give me this sensation? I wanted more, but I fought the feeling and pulled away from my new 'boyfriend'.

"Satoshi... I..." I didn't know how to tell the happy boy that I just couldn't date him.

"Daisuke, it's okay. This is okay. This is normal. Don't you see? It's okay to feel this way. Please, try and see that." Satoshi seemed to read my thoughts and comfortingly put his hand on my shoulder.

I couldn't help but nod. He seemed so confident, maybe this could work out.

:-P

The next day, we walked into school together, Satoshi's arm draped around my shoulders. All the girls giggled as we passes, and Risa Harada even pointed. I shrugged him off. Though I felt bad and missed the warmth of his arm, I couldn't take all of those people staring and... (duh duh duh) pointing.

While we were at our lockers, I knew we were going to go our separate ways, and was almost sad, but mostly relieved. Now people wont stare and giggle as we pass. But I didn't anticipate Satoshi. He leaned close and I thought he was going to say something to me, but instead I felt warm lips against mine. For a minute, I melted into the kiss, but when Satoshi's hands appeared at my waist, I was brought back to my senses. What was I doing?? In the middle of the public school area, we were kissing like... like I don't know what! I pulled away.

Satoshi looked confused. I could feel all the eyes in the hall looking at me. I felt humiliated. "How could you do that?" I whispered so only he could hear. He looked surprised.

"Do what?" He asked.

"That!" I hissed. "in front of all these people! What will they think?" Satoshi got cold at that last statement.

"What must they think? They must think that we're a couple. Like we are. Or are we?" His voice was pure ice but low enough that no one else could hear.

"No! No... I was just being dumb, Hiwatari-kun... Please... I didn't mean it. Of course we're a... couple." My voice almost failed me on the word couple. I wanted to reassure Satoshi, but he seemed to have caught my little falter, so he glared harder.

"Oh really? I'll talk to you during lunch." Satoshi seemed to hesitate for a moment, before leaning in and giving me a quick peck on the cheek before marching off to his class. After a moment I followed him and sat down in my seat, all the way cross the class room from Satoshi. What was he going to say to me at lunch? I was actually scared. I needed to make up for this. My mind screamed, let it happen! But I knew it had to shove that under a big rock or something. Class began.


	3. What Must Happen First

Class began. It seemed excruciatingly long. I kept looking at Satoshi, but he never made eye contact, never looked back. This made me feel uneasy. FINALLY, the bell rang for lunch.

"Daisuke, we need to talk." Satoshi looked a little angry, but mostly sad. This worried me.

"What is it Satoshi?" I didn't want him to be upset about the morning occurrences.

Finally finding a location that had no people, Satoshi turned to face me. I was actually really scared. I wanted him to hug me and tell me that everything was okay. But that didn't happen.

"You don't love me. Not the way I love you, if at all. I can tell by the way you act. In fact, it's rather obvious. So this is what must happen first. You must accept that people will look at us when I hold your hand, or when I put my arm around your shoulder. You must understand that people aren't plotting against you when they see you kiss in the hallway. You must accept that you like what's happening to you, and toy must not resist it. When you can do that, you and I will be a true couple. Right now this is more one sided." Satoshi looked at me sadly.

I go angry. So this was all my fault? "You say you love me, but then why don't you smile? And don't say you do, because I can tell the difference between a real smile and a fake one. What's eating you? Before we can be a real couple, sure I have to get over my issues, but you have to get over yours as well. Okay?" I was panting slightly. The was probably the most confrontational I had ever been.

Satoshi studied my face. Then he turned and stomped away. My heart sank. Had I gone too far? Had I hit a nerve that I wasn't supposed to go near? I slumped against a tree. I had to fix this. I had to please Satoshi. I knew what I had to do.

:-P

Attempt one:

"Satoshi!" I called to the boy, who was walking ahead of me in the hallway. I ran up and hugged him. He looked surprised. People stared. I didn't care. Success!

Attempt two:

As we were parting, Satoshi kissed me. I pulled away. I looked around and saw people looking. I blushed. ...Failure...

Attempt three:

During lunch Satoshi swung his arm around my shoulders. I saw Risa Harada. Just he memory of the point made me shrug Satoshi off. ...Failure...

Attempt four:

To say good bye to me, Satoshi went to kiss me. I dogged completely, out of habit. He glared at me. ...Failure...

"You're not ready to be in a relationship, Daisuke. This isn't going to work out. ...Bye." Satoshi gave me one last defeated look before walking away.

I walked home alone.


	4. Daisuke's Realization

It was that night that I decided it-no realized it. I was a homophobe, and now I hated myself for it. I hated myself even more because, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was gay. The more I realized I was gay, the more I realized I was in love with Satoshi. The more I realized this, the more I realized that I had blown my big chance to be with Satoshi. After all, he was now more than pissed off at me. Right now, Satoshi didn't want to have anything to do with me. I cried that night.

:-P

I walked up to him the next day, fulling intending on telling him my startling realization the night before. However, I walked up at the wrong moment. I walked up at the moment that Satoshi kissed a boy I didn't recognize. The boy tapped Satoshi on the shoulder after a moment, noticing me staring, jaw dropped.

Satoshi looked surprised. "Oh, hello, Niwa. I wasn't expecting to see you there. This is my Allistire. He's from America."

I felt my face harden. He had replaced me in less then 24 hours with a foreigner?? "You move quickly," I growled. Then stomped away. However, Satoshi followed me.

He grabbed my shoulder and wrenched me around. "You expected me to wait forever? You want me to stay in limbo, waiting for you, never having anyone, never being with anyone?? You expected--" Satoshi broke off at the look on my face.

It took me a moment before I realized I was crying. I smacked him. Hard. His hand came up to his face, touching it gently. I cried harder and started to pound my fists into his chest. Satoshi then did something amazing. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and shed me. He stroked my hair and rested his chin on the top of my head. Slowly, I calmed down.

"Satoshi... I-I don't know how to say it... Other than just blurting it..." I mumbled into his chest.

"The blurt it," Satoshi pulled back and smiled at me.

"I think I love you."

The silence that ensued was like torture. I knew Satoshi was going to walk away, telling me never to come into his sight again.

"And-and--" I began, but Satoshi's finger covered my lips and he looked away. Then he looked back at me, and everything was alright.

He smiled. A real smile, not one of those fake things he had always given me before. And then he kissed me, and I didn't care who saw, who pointed, or who giggled. All I saw was fireworks of love behind my eyelids as I fell into the kiss and knew that everything was going to be fine from now on. Everything was going to be fine...


End file.
